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Ogre
Joined: 23 Dec 2004
Posts: 1941
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 Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 7:55 am Post subject: |
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| Benny Bee wrote: |
| anevilgiraffe wrote: |
| Ralph Mueller rings a bell... in loads of stuff if you look for him... |
Ralf Moeller |
I found one disc of the dvd set at a flea market for a dollar, had 5 episodes on it, they were a riot, definitely not a good show, but worth watching for a laugh.
The animated series of the same name however, I find quite entertaining. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Wqlqy82Snk
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frotherGuest
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| Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 7:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Steders wrote: |
| REH was a fucking hack. Who gives a fuck, if theres a bit of sword and socery with some hot tottie thrown in it'll tick all of my boxes. I read a lot of the Conan stuff and really enjoyed it, when I was 13 and playing D&D. |
It's exactly that sort of thinking that led to reams upon reams of bad fantasy books, films and games. After all, all you need is a bit of sword-and-sorcery, some hot tottie, some blood, some guts, and there you go. And guess what? They're all stuck in the '80s. Not a single Conan pastiche (outside Jordan coasting on his death-throes) is still in print. There aren't any plans for new Beastmaster, Yor, or Ator films. The original REH stories are, and new volumes are consistently being published today.
Why? Can't be because REH was a hack, otherwise why bother?
| sc0rcher wrote: |
| So not linking LOTR or Conan means not liking anything to you? Neither Tolkien, nor REH were decent writers. The literary value of said books is zero. |
If Conan has zero literary value, why exactly did the Library of America and Penguin Classics choose to include REH stories in their collections, which are dedicated to preserving the greatest in American and World Literature respectively?
REH's literary value has been discussed and dissected for thirty years, in multiple journals and books. Tolkien too. Hard to imagine authors with "zero literary value" having so many people make so much out of nothing.
| anevilgiraffe wrote: |
| only REH I've read is Solomon Kane... like the premise, but the stories were pretty abysmal... |
I guess renowned literary critic John Clute disagrees, considering he included the Kane story "The Footfalls Within" in the Penguin Classics collection of Howard stories Heroes in the Wind.
| Condottiero wrote: |
2) From a few snippets, the writing appears piss poor, even in comparison with the 1982 movie and seems like it's recycling concepts from the Kull movie, which was based off a Conan story re-written from a rejected Kull tale. |
Close: the Kull movie was originally going to be a Conan film based (really loosely) on the Conan novel The Hour of the Dragon. And it was horrible beyond belief. And the new "Conan" film does rip elements from it. |
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anevilgiraffe
Associate Member
Joined: 27 Oct 2007
Posts: 11650
Location: Cambridge UK
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| Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 7:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Anonymous wrote: |
| anevilgiraffe wrote: |
| only REH I've read is Solomon Kane... like the premise, but the stories were pretty abysmal... |
I guess renowned literary critic John Clute disagrees, considering he included the Kane story "The Footfalls Within" in the Penguin Classics collection of Howard stories Heroes in the Wind.
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ah the superiority of the anonymous poster 
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sc0rcher
Joined: 31 Mar 2008
Posts: 5450
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| Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 9:21 pm Post subject: |
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I doubt he has actually read the books.
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| Polished Turd wrote: |
| Fat smelly single nerds with juvenile personalities go fantasy, Reactionary unhappily married chaps with repressed anger issues go for historical. |
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fizzelopeguss
Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 57
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| Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 9:54 pm Post subject: |
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If they were that desperate for a dark skinned actor they should have gone for the black guy from andromeda. classically trained, can actually act, well spoken and atleast in that series he was built like a brick shithouse.
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Ogre
Joined: 23 Dec 2004
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Tre Manor
Joined: 15 Jul 2007
Posts: 2512
Location: in a wide stance
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| Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 2:50 am Post subject: |
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FFS. I have no problem with his polynesian ancestry, as I think that could very easily fit REH's discriptions of Conan, especially beign that Conan's GrandFather was Atlantean ( or insinuated to be ) and that Howard's Atlanteans seemed to be insinuated to be polynesian... to me at least.
This guy is just too pretty to be Conan. COnan fought almost his entire life and sustained wounds all throughout. this guy is moisturizer factor to get the chics to go see the movie too.
Maybe his pre-production training will toughen him up a bit, I hope so, because at this point he looks more like one of Conan's thief side kicks than teh man himself.
And REH DID discribe Conan as being a very large man of great strength. I never remembered readign that he had the build of an ordinary warrior or even a tough warrior. He was a beast of a man.
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Vermis
Joined: 18 Jun 2006
Posts: 1987
Location: Nor'n Iron
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| Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 1:58 pm Post subject: |
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Looks alright, but I agree he'll need a makeover and a few gym sessions. And I dunno what his acting's like.
| anevilgiraffe wrote: |
| like the premise, but the stories were pretty abysmal... |
Haven't read Solomon Kane, but that's pretty much my opinion of his Conan stuff. 
Condy seems adamant that Conan should be white as the driven snow, but that's part of what turned me off to the stories. Couple the statements that he's superior because he's a savage, not a civilised man; some reminders that he's a white man; and portrayals of black 'savages' as barely more than jungle-drumming idiots. I got the feeling Conan was only missing the blonde hair and the goose-steps.
And then there's all the stuff about scantily-clad princesses (always starting to fall for him no matter how much they initially hate him); stories where men flock to his banner because he's so fair and even-handed and gosh-darned great, while in other stories he'd gut you like a fish because you're in his way; being bigger, stronger, faster, better...
Like the giraffe said: great world, great premise, undoubtedly one of the big influences on modern fantasy blahblah. Just a pity it had to revolve around Bob Howard's Mary-Sue.
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Condottiero
Joined: 11 Nov 2005
Posts: 1514
Location: Brighton, Massachusetts
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| Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 2:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Tre Manor wrote: |
| FFS. I have no problem with his polynesian ancestry, as I think that could very easily fit REH's discriptions of Conan, especially beign that Conan's GrandFather was Atlantean ( or insinuated to be ) and that Howard's Atlanteans seemed to be insinuated to be polynesian... to me at least. |
Personality and character
Conan's grandfather was a Cimmerian from a southern tribe, exiled from a blood feud, who eventually settled with a northern group. He wasn't Atlantean, but a descendant like all Cimmerians, since the Atlanteans had been extinct for several thousand years and they weren't Polynesian in appearance, but Caucasian and proto-Celt, while the Picts are closer to Native Americans.
| Tre Manor wrote: |
| This guy is just too pretty to be Conan. COnan fought almost his entire life and sustained wounds all throughout. this guy is moisturizer factor to get the chics to go see the movie too. |
He was on Baywatch...
| Tre Manor wrote: |
Maybe his pre-production training will toughen him up a bit, I hope so, because at this point he looks more like one of Conan's thief side kicks than teh man himself.
And REH DID discribe Conan as being a very large man of great strength. I never remembered readign that he had the build of an ordinary warrior or even a tough warrior. He was a beast of a man. |
There were a few taller than him, but Conan wasn't a bodybuilder and had cat-like agility.
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Justsumguy
Joined: 24 May 2006
Posts: 1058
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| Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 2:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| especially beign that Conan's GrandFather was Atlantean |
Your talking about in the film right? In the books the atlanteans devolved into apemen then clawed their way back up the evolutionary ladder long before they became known as Cimmerians.
| Quote: |
| Condy seems adamant that Conan should be white as the driven snow, but that's part of what turned me off to the stories. Couple the statements that he's superior because he's a savage, not a civilised man; some reminders that he's a white man; and portrayals of black 'savages' as barely more than jungle-drumming idiots. I got the feeling Conan was only missing the blonde hair and the goose-steps. |
Conan is said to be as dark as the dester dwellers he meets so hes sporting a pretty bitching tan.
Conans a product of its time but I think you may be exaggerating a tad there.
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